Joker and Harley Quinn
by Tina senpai
Summary: Harley has been let down by Joker AGAIN so how does she let herself go:...Buying sexy underwear! But what's this...Joker walks in! XD
1. Chapter 1

Joker and Harlequin: the pin-up girl

Inspired by a hilarious conversation XD

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"COME ON MR. J, YOU PROMISED!" Harley wined from here sitting position on the floor, no tears coming out of her eyes, but her voice wailed as if she were about to let the oceans fly from them.

"Babes something came up concerning the bat, we can't go." Joker spoke with his senior voice, arms folded lazily across his chest. Harlequinn messily gathered herself from the floor and latched onto his arm, which he was used to but still made out to be severely pissed off when she did. She looked at him stubbornly and pouted at him, whilst he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, feigning annoyance.

"Harl's, I forgot Ok, just wait till tomorrow." His voice was obviously restraining his anger but Harlequinn just latched onto his waist all the more and gave him her best puppy dog look.

"But YOU PROMISED! And it's the last day of the sales!" She whined again, this time pressing herself up against him in a bid to distract him from anything else. Instead he turned to her, obviously about to snap, either a nerve or her neck, when he groaned in annoyance and pushed her off, throwing her to the floor.

"God Damnit sweetie! Just…here take this," he threw a bundle of money from out of his pocket at her, "and buy anything you want." He didn't even look at her, instead choose to light a cigarette and walk silently out of the room, which Harley deciphered as an apology. She got all her 'normal' clothes ready and sprinted out of the building as fast as she could, before joker could change his mind and take back his money.

………………………

She had been shopping for about two hours, her arms full of bags of goodies, some for her, some for her friends, especially a few new suits for Mr. J. Her last stop in the big shopping mall was a small lingerie shop with a big 'for sale' sign hanging above. She walked around for a few minutes, glancing at some new underwear, occasionally looking to see the shop assistant with a very nasty glare in her eye, pointedly at Harley.

She was just about to leave and punch the cashier girl in her pretty little made up face on the way out, when something caught her eye.

She picked up the saucy little number and smiled. The red silk with a black lace stood out perfectly and made her think of her own outfit, the one she created just to be part of Joker's little gang.

She traced the outline of the black lace along the hem and felt a small shock go through her at the 'vibe' this little number was giving her, before mentally debating whether or not to treat herself.

'_Hmmm, it has been reduced and Mr. J said red IS my colour…but what if it doesn't suit me?' _Harley looked down at her body, which she usually thought was flat and plain and then back at the underwear held aloft in her hand.

'_Well, no one will see me in it but me, so what the hell Harley, go for it!' _And in that moment of thought, Harley had walked over to the counter and placed the garment don on the counter. '_Definitely no going back now.' _As the young cashier placed her silky underwear in the bag, she gave Harley an icy sneer and tried to smile, but Harley already had her back to her and was skipping out of the store. '_Note to self; Come back tomorrow, rob store, kill girl.' _Harley whistled and skipped euphorically back downtown, smiling at all the weird stares she got, finally getting into the hidden building in a small alleyway, which led to her and Joker's secret hideout.

She barely got in her room before removing the garment from its bag and hastily throwing the door closed behind her, not bothering to lock it. She threw all her other bags down on the ground and quickly undressed and re-dressed in the mirror. She looked at herself before noticing that something was missing and decided to dress herself up in her 'going out' clothes, just to see if it looked right. She put on her make-up and hat and added her stockings with the new heels she had brought and gave herself the once over.

'_Ho there, I look like a pin-up from the 50's! Hey there tiger, you don't look bad at all!' _Harley gave herself a small twirl and watched her long legs practically sparkle with life in the reflection. She was so busy admiring herself in her little red number that she didn't even hear the footsteps approach; only the voice entered the room as the door opened.

"Sweetie now that you're back, I gotta- what in the…" Joker's voice trailed off as Harlequinn saw him staring at her. She whirled around and immediately placed her hands up to her chest and giving a small squeak of surprise. Thy both stood like that for a couple of minutes before the cogs in Harley's mind seemed to be the only noise audible.

………………………

'Oh my god, the boss is seeing me in my undies! Don't panic…I'm sure he's not mad. Oh but what if he's angry I wasted my money? Well, HIS money really. Come on Harlequinn ya' knucklehead, say something before h blows his top right off at ya'!'

"Urm...hey Mr. J. I…I…I hope you're not mad at wasting your money." Harlequinn squeaked in her little voice that meant she was embarrassed and nervous. The Joker merely continued to stare at her with his mouth hanging open, his eyes travelling up and down her frame, soaking in her appearance. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, looking like he was coming up for air after a long time under water. He finally gulped loudly and brought his shocked eyes up to Harley's nervous ones.

"God Damnit sweetie." He said as if his whole spirit and all his energy had gone into saying those three words.

She stared at him for a moment and found the words she was looking for to describe the way his voice sounded; _hungry._

She recognised the tone in his voice. She'd recognised from countless other men who had wanted her in the past and smiled at finally getting it from him. She let out a small giggle and relaxed hr arms, clasping her hands either side of her hips and tilting her head. She let her smile go wide and put on her best cheery voice.

"It's all for you puddin'." She gave him a playful wink and waited for him to regain his composure. As if her words where the secret key to knock him out of his comatose like state, he suddenly marched towards her and raised his hand as if to strike. She shut her eyes and awaited the feeling of his fist connecting with her cheek but instead felt his strong hands around hr waist and then her entire boy shift forward, being pulled so she toppled onto something. She opened her eyes to see the joker had lifted her clean onto his shoulder. He marched them out into the hall; with small protests from Harley at where they were going. He marched into his room, kicking the door open and closed before marching over to his king size bed.

"From now on, waste my money more often!" He stated as if it was a new rule, throwing Harlequinn down onto the bed and jumping on her in sequence, emitting a small squeak as he spent the next half day and night showing her the true value of money.

A few weeks went by and most of the henchmen notice that every weekend the boss would send Harlequinn out on what he called 'wasting his money' missions. They didn't know what he meant but after she came back they wouldn't see the boss until the next day and they swore his smile kept getting bigger and bigger.

THE END…FOR NOW


	2. Chapter 2

~Harley's new look~

~Bangin' baby~

~Joker x Harley~

~The shopping trip~

Harley was skipping merrily around with her bags of shopping, having just visited her favourite lingerie shop (which also turned out to be her pudding's favourite place to after he caught her trying on new underwear) she began to make her way to the exit when something caught her eye.

A new shop had finally opened up and for the first time, Harley showed a genuine interest.

The shop was a brand new fancy dress and costume shop that had become all the craze and recently, it had even brought in some outfits which were very familiar to her.

Within the window was two outfits: A catgirl and a Harlequinn.

Harley couldn't help but sigh at the outfit with the fake, squishy mallet and the tacky diamonds sowed in all over.

Although she loved her original look, she was becoming very tired of it.

She turned away from the shop window, slightly sadder than she had originally started when she started shopping, but she again stopped as she stared at a familiar sight.

The fabric store.

That's when she got one of those little lightbulbs above her head, the one the Mister J had called a bright idea (which she was told to never have under any circumstances).

~Back at home~

"Harley! We gotta go! People don't just shoot themselves!" Joker yelled up the stairway, tapping his foot impatiently and quickly re-adjusting the collar of his favourite long purple jacket (he always thought he looked very dashing in it).

"I'll be down soo-AHHH! I'M OK!" A crash and Harley screaming hadn't worried Joker, he was used to it.

They'd been 'going out' for a while and he'd gotten used to her quirks and tendencies to be extremely accident prone.

"Urgsch...that woman wants to give me an ulcer. Ah well, more pain, little gain." Joker said and turned to his men with a nod of understanding, getting a nod back (even though some didn't quite understand what he meant).

"Mister J! Mister J!" Harley called from behind him and the joker just had to sigh. He really wasn't in the mood for her wackyness. It was time for their monthly bank raid (occasional hostage taking and torture) and he was already running late due to Harley's demands that he wait for her to finish dressing. Finally, he'd heard her footfalls approaching and was just waiting to get up and leave with his gang.

He slowly turned towards her with his eyes shut, and tried not to blow his bolt at her.

"Harley, I'm gonna' be late sweetness."

"But Mister J, you have to tell me what ya' think of my new look!" Harley said, controlling herself so she didn't jump up and down in excitement.

Joker let out another sigh and slowly opened his eyes.

"Harley, I really do not have ti-...i....Har...Harley?!" He looked at her in complete shock, definetely NOT expecting what she had dressed herself in.

Instead of her usual onepiece ensemble, with a giant mallet, Harley had completely changed her look.

She no longer wore that cute little hat that hid her hair and some of her face, instead opting for a cute little pigtailed look, with red and black srunchies either side.

Her make-up was the same, minus a bit extra blush on her cheeks, making her look even more cute.

She wore black and red gloves on either hand, one pulled up to her elbow, whilst the other sat nicely on her upper arm, chequered with small black and red diamond patterns on either glove.

It seemed that Harley had gotten hold of one of her old jester hats and decided it would be put to good use (after a little alteration) as a new top with her, covering her chest, before being attached to some netting and a nice little black and white frilly collar which sat on her neck.

Harley had gotten hold of onepiece and chopped of the bottom half, before lopping at the entire leg of the black section, which she cleverly attached a long, black silk stocking held up to her thigh by one suspender attached to her knickers (which Mister J was very clearly staring at).

"So," Harley sauntered towards him, purposefully swinging her hips as she done so, "can I come out to play?"

Joker didn't really now what to say at first, he was too busy staring at her.

Then he managed to locate some form of sane thought (for the first time in his life) and turned around.

"BOYS! GO ON WITHOUT ME! I'M STAYING HOME TO PLAY!"

The last thing Joker's gang saw as they walked out of the door, was Joker chasing a squealing Harlequinn up the stairs, yelling about all the stuff he was going to do to her when he caught up with her.

And most of the stuff the gang definetely did not want to walk in on later.


End file.
